A question I am frequently asked goes something like this: “With all the different social networking sites out there, how do I know which one is right for me, and how do I find the time to keep up with it?”

Great question! One that I am sure we’ve all asked ourselves at some point or another, right? This much is clear: If you don’t have a purpose for utilizing social media you are going to feel much like a person who has been thrown into the water and can’t swim! You are going to panic and try to keep your head above water however you can. Not only is this scary, but it is exhausting, right?

I would answer the above question with this question, “What is your primary reason for wanting to use social media?” Please don’t say “because everyone is doing it.” That is not a good reason. You need to have a well-defined reason so you can then determine which site, or sites, you wish to spend your time on. Here are five questions to ask yourself to help you determine which networking site(s) you want to utilize:

1. What is your *main* purpose for utilizing social media? Be specific with this question. Don’t generalize.
2. Who is your target audience?
3. What specific results will your social media efforts have on your target audience?
4. What is your comfort level with social media? Are you new to social media? Are you an intermediate user? An advanced user?
5. How much time do you want to devote to social media per day? Per week?

Once you’ve answered these questions, you can begin to explore what social networking site(s) are the best fit for you based on the answers you’ve provided.

The big three in social media are: LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter. Here’s how I like to think of these:

• LinkedIn is like putting on a suit.
• Facebook is like casual Fridays.
• Twitter is like an afterwork party or hanging out on the weekend.

Business happens on all three of these sites, just as it does in the traditional workplace during the day and after hours. I use this analogy only to provide an idea of how “business” or “casual” the site is. I personally am on all three of these social networking sites. They all “fit” for me. The key to finding a fit is that you will then get involved. Don’t just sign up to sign up. You *must* get involved in some fashion. Whether that is joining a group and participating or answering questions or tweeting about some useful information, you must be involved. Remember, people need to know, like, and trust you *before* they will consider doing business with you.

As for how much time you need to spend on these networking sites, that will really depend on your purpose and target audience (see questions 1 and 2 above). Plan on at least 30 minutes a day. Block this time off on your calendar, set a timer (here’s a really cool no-cost one) for 30 minutes, and get busy!

Once the timer goes off, you are done for the day. Wasn’t that easy? Doesn’t that sound manageable? If you find you really enjoy this, do this exercise again at the end of the day. As with anything, it is all about what you find comfortable, because when it’s comfortable you’ll do it!

I would love to hear how you are putting these suggestions into place. Feel free to drop me an email at cindy@virtualpartnering.com.

Today we are going to talk about Self-Confidence. This is the final theme in the three over-arching themes we’ve been discussing. You can read about the previous two here and here. I saved this one for last because it is a biggie! How many times have you wondered if you have the confidence to do something? I know I have, and I’d be willing to bet you have as well. If you haven’t, good for you! Wondering if we can do a particular thing is normal. Where we usually run into difficulty is when we begin to imagine all of the “what-ifs” that might occur. While some contemplation of the “what-ifs” is smart, dwelling on the “what-ifs” can actually produce inactivity and indecision, which is not good.

I realize there are more books and articles on this subject than there are people to read them. What does this tell you? It’s a pretty hot topic and one that we all struggle with. We make decisions every day, so there has to be some degree of confidence in our processes and our ability to discern what feels right and what doesn’t, correct? What causes our perceived lack of self-confidence? Is it the magnitude of the decision that prompts this perceived lack of self-confidence? Is it a new endeavor that prompts this perceived lack of self-confidence? Is it that you just don’t want to make the wrong decision?

When I ask my clients, “What is holding you back?” the response I get is “I don’t know.” Upon further probing, I find the underlying problem is doubt. Doubt about themselves and doubt about other people. Listening to this doubt can undermine self-confidence. In fact, thinking about confidence is a sure way to start minimizing it! Does this mean you shouldn’t think about it? No. It just means you shouldn’t over think things. What you should do is trust your intuition. Listen to your intuition and you will find more than enough self-confidence. Trust yourself, make the choice, and follow it whole-heartedly. Don’t give up the moment it becomes hard. Your intuition is not going to steer you wrong. Just because the choice you made is not one your friend would have made does not make it wrong. If your intuition told you it was right for you, then it is right for you.

Listen to yourself and stop worrying about being confident. The confidence will come as you start to follow your intuition and do what is best for you. I know this is easier said than done, but you have to practice this! Accept the fact that in the beginning you may not make some good decisions because you didn’t fully listen to your intuition. As you begin to trust yourself (intuition) more and more, you will find your decision-making process becomes easier and more enjoyable because you are no longer fighting the process.

Picture this: It’s a Monday morning and the phone is ringing off the hook. It’s not even 9am yet. Your inbox looks like something blew up (things are scattered everywhere), and your to-do list doesn’t fit on one piece of paper anymore! What’s a savvy entrepreneur like yourself feeling at this particular moment? Do you want to run? Do you want to cry? Do you want to take the day off and deal with it later? All of the above? Or do you want to clean it up once and for all? I vote for cleaning it up once and for all!

Overwhelm is not a productive place to be. In fact, it is very unproductive because it blocks the necessary actions we need to take to do the things we need to do. Yet, many of us fall into overwhelm very easily. Let’s look at what overwhelm really is. To feel overwhelmed is to feel unable to do. The root of overwhelm is an acute sense of loss of control. Often, the difference between being productively busy and being overwhelmed is simply a feeling of control. For example, when *I* am in charge of my activities I feel busy and productive. When I feel like someone else (client, spouse, friend, family) is in charge of my activities I begin to feel overwhelmed. This suggests a cure to being overwhelmed, right? Be in control, or have some control over what you are doing.

Let’s take a look at how we can be in control so that we are not constantly in an overwhelmed state, ok?

Following are some examples of how easy it is to become overwhelmed and how we can move out of overwhelm:

#1: Are you in control of the decisions that affect you? What I mean by this is: If someone asks you to do something do you automatically say yes because you think, or feel, you should? Or do you participate in the decision and then say yes (or no)? Huge difference. The former takes away your control due to your passive behavior. The latter implies control because your behavior is active in the process.

#2: Do you have standards and boundaries concerning your time? If yes, do you enforce those standards and boundaries, or do you let others bend them? If you do not have standards and boundaries, it is easy to understand where overwhelm comes from. You are letting others dictate your time, and thus your energy. If you have standards and boundaries and are not enforcing them, now would be a good time to start! If you don’t have standards and boundaries, now would also be a good time to create some! Remember, *you* are in control of *your* business.

#3: Do you have a difficult time separating essential and non-essential tasks, activities, emails, requests, etc? Do you find you lose your focus rather easily on these items? If so, the remedy is to have a system in place that allows you to make a decision on the relative importance of each item. This system does not need to be complicated! On the contrary, the system should be simple and straightforward so that you are able to use it without feeling like it’s one more task. In its simplest form, the one question you should ask is: “What is the one thing I want to accomplish this year/month/week/day?” Based on your answer, all decisions you make should support this statement. If what you are being asked to do does not support this statement you need to reschedule, reframe, or refer!

To wrap this second phase up, the best thing you can do to support yourself and your business is to be in control. I know. Easier said than done sometimes, right? If that is how you feel, then I would encourage you to think about hiring a coach to help you move through this process so that you can be the effective, efficient entrepreneur I know you to be!

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Want to use this article in your ezine or blog? Feel free to do so as long as you include complete attribution, including live website link. The attribution should read: “By Cindy Hillsey of Virtual Partnering. Please visit http://www.virtualpartnering.com for additional information.”