The more people talk about "getting out of the box", the more things look the same, don’t you think? Paradoxical? Not really. As most of us know, talk does not equate to action. Things look the same because they are–the mantra is just words.

So far.

The fact is many people really are tired of the way things are (yay!), especially in their immediate circle, the one they interact with on a daily basis. So they express their dissatisfaction and desire to change but really are stymied as to how to affect that change.

So, what does it mean to "get out of the box"?

It means to be or do in a way that is not normative but is highly effective. That doesn’t sound so hard now, does it? But we all know it can be extraordinarily hard! This is because of a couple of things not mentioned in the meaning. One is that if one is to be simply different, it is easy–just act out of character. The unstated part is that it has to be in character (must be something comfortable and agreeable for you to do) to be effective. Secondly, it has to be effective. Just being different is not necessarily mean efficacy. 

Here’s my version of "getting out of the box": to be or do in a way that is not normative on a large scale but is consistent with your personality and the being and doing are highly effective on that large scale.

Sounds good, but HOW does one "get out of the box"?

You must forget about the box to get out of it! Simply doing the opposite just produces another box…the anti-box, which is still a box.

Forgetting the box itself is not easy at all because it is what we know. How do you forget the box? Ask yourself what would you like to do/be? What does that look like? This will get you started on the right road. You will find some correspondences within you to the box but that is ok. If you continue your exploration simply from your own perspective, you will find yourself in some pretty fresh surroundings. If you are unique (and there is little doubt of that anymore) then your "box" has to be in many ways also unique. AND it is completely in agreement with who you are!

Go ahead…if you are tired of what is there and want a change, design the change by asking yourself what you want to be/do and write it down. Then commit to taking one action daily to work toward the change. If you need help with this, hire a coach. A coach can help you make these changes so that you are ‘outta of the box’!

Here’s to you and no more boxes!!

Feedback.

Widely used and casually understood. But what is feedback really?

Currently, soliciting feedback around something is akin to conducting a survey. Most often it is used to validate some idea or practice. Soliciting feedback around a performance or material is an invite to criticism–hopefully to hear what was good but to also hear what could be improved. Sometimes, soliciting feedback is used to determine what a particular market wants or needs.

The general consensus is that feedback is necessary and a good thing.

So, when should you NOT listen to feedback?

Feedback is only as valid as the person providing it relative to the question asked. Therefore, if you receive feedback from an audience that is not your intended audience, the feedback is useless. Think about it. If you run a restaurant and your Ideal Clients are those in their early 30′s with disposable income, why would you solicit feedback from those in their early 20′s with no disposable income? They will not provide favorable feedback because you are not catering to them.

In business, you should only solicit feedback from two sources: experts in your field and your Ideal Clients. Feedback outside these two sources is irrelevant. Experts will give you some insight from an insider perspective. Your ideal Clients will give you the customer perspective. Both perceptions are necessary for a balanced outlook.

If you want feedback outside of these two sources, be clear on WHY you are soliciting the feedback and WHAT information you hope to gain.

Knowing who NOT to listen to is just as important as knowing WHO to listen to!

Over the years, and more so lately, I hear people telling their audiences to dream big, imagine success. They say to ignore the “hows” and just focus on the end result. The “hows” will magically reveal themselves. Sadly, this is only partially correct—were it more so the failure rate of new businesses would be declining and they are not. The one advantage to espousing this is that it makes it easy to talk about. After all, generalities are far, far easier than specifics and less likely to be proven wrong. The disadvantages are obvious.

So, what about this is partially right and what is partially wrong?

What is partially right is the fact that imagining (or visioning) the end result is a correct step, an essential step. The process is slightly more involved and therefore should be slightly more guided. Imagining is not fantasy, nor mere escapism. It is a process of seeing the end result in detail, and it is a blend of known reality and reality desired. It is not impossible in the sense of violating the workings of nature but only in the sense of something  someone never imagined themselves doing or having. The delineation of the details needs to be guided as well as the fit to beliefs.

The partially wrong part is the revelation of the “hows”. It is true that the “hows” should not intrude upon the imagining of the final product. Once the final product (whatever the vision is) is determined, some of the “hows” should be obvious. The key is the ability to recognize the “hows” when they appear. Needing to accomplish something will often suggest how to accomplish it, but not always, nor is it always the best how. Exploring the “hows” should be a guided process.

With my clients we go through a process of discovering the "hows". We talk about/dream about what they want and what it will look like in detail. Then we take that first step TODAY toward making this a reality. We look at where they are right now and what they can do today (even if it is a small step) or this week that will begin moving them toward this new vision. Once that first step is taken, we can then determine what the next step should be. It is a process that we repeat on a regular basis.

The point here being that you do not envision what you want and then leap frog over the steps. There will be several steps in the process of getting your from that vision (point A) to the end result (point Z). Remember that the path traveled is rarely a straight line. There will always be twists and turn! This is why it is important to keep your eye on the end result and have someone to walk that path with you.

Hi All!

I am SO excited about the Master Mind Groups that start next week! Thank you to those of you who’ve signed up and are ready to go. I’m really looking forward to supporting you on your journey.

If you are still looking for an affordable Master Mind, why not come and play with us? We’re a fun bunch of folks who are looking forward to the next 6 months.

If you’ve been in business less than 3 years, are a service-based entrepreneur (Coach, VA), and want some support in your journey, then you’ll want to be with us when we begin next week! (Ditto for those of you in business 3 years and up!)

Here are all the details. Questions? Please reach out to me at: cindy at virtualpartnering dot com

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Consider these two scenarios:

Entrepreneur #1 knows who her Ideal Client is, keeps in touch regularly via blogs, ezines, and/or other methods that her Ideal Client responds to.

Entrepreneur #2 kind of knows who her Ideal Client is, starts to keep in touch with her Ideal Client, pulls back because she doesn’t perceive her Ideal Client responding to her in a time frame she’s set up, and then disappears for a while. After a few  months, she resurfaces only to repeat the process with something new that she thinks her Ideal Client wants.

Which one of these entrepreneurs do YOU want to be associated with and possibly work with? This is not a trick question…the answer is Entrepreneur #1!

The problem with Entrepreneur #2 is that she is making an assumption that no-one is listening to her. Remember we said that she didn’t have the response that she wanted in the time frame she set up? Did you notice the pattern? She, and not her Ideal Client, is the problem. Her Ideal Client is watching her, but the image she is portraying to her Ideal Client is not the image she really wants to portray.

Actually, if Entrepreneur #2 knew the image she was creating she’d be horrified! What’s happening here is that her Ideal Client IS watching her. They get excited about what they are seeing and hearing, they start down the road of knowing, liking, and trusting this Entrepreneur and then she pulls the rug out from under them by disappearing. When she reappears it’s in a new form and the process must start over again. Entrepreneur #2 has just lost the trust she was trying so hard to gain.

Entrepreneur #2′s  mistake is that she is assuming no-one is watching or listening to her. Unfortunately, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Because she is not a magician trying to sell magician services, her appearing and disappearing only confuses her clients and makes them less likely to want to do business with her as they are not sure what they will get. Will she be around in the future? Will she disappear on them?

Remember, your Ideal Client wants to know you are going to be there when they are ready. They may spend a lot of time watching you, taking advantage of your giveaways, corresponding via posts with you, etc. That’s ok. They are working on the know, like, and trust factor and the last thing they want to see is you disappear without a reason or a trace. Don’t become a cold case!

The fact of the matter is procrastination can hit any of us at any time. No matter how much we want to do something when it is new it is scary and we have a tendency to put it off. Many of us cleverly disguise fear with a number of excuses, but the real driver is almost always fear. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, and/or fear of what people will think of us. The reality is there is never a perfect time, and things are never perfect. As my coach tells me, “Done is better than perfect.” Now that does not mean you shouldn’t pay attention to the details. It just means don’t wait for everything to be perfect *before* you share your gifts with the world.

What are some things you can do to overcome procrastination? Here are four things you can begin to do today:

1. Be accountable to someone. This could be a coach, a friend who understands your business, a mentor, or you could belong to a mastermind group.

2. Set a deadline. Now this will only work if you don’t get anxious over a deadline. If you do, please do not attempt this one.

3. Ask yourself what is the worse that could happen, and if it did (which is not likely!) could you live with it? If the answer is yes, then proceed through your fear. If the answer is no, then pay attention to why the answer is no and dig a little deeper to discover why you feel this way.

4. Just start! Start someplace. It doesn’t have to be at the beginning. Start with a piece you are comfortable with and go from there. You may find it is not as difficult as you had imagined.

What are you procrastinating about, and what are you going to do about it? Share your comments below.

Do you ever find yourself stuck on an idea or puzzling over how you can take a certain idea and work with it in your business? In other words, do you need to be more creative and/or find a new way in which to look at things?

A coach friend of mine suggested the following exercise. She got this from Dr. Wayne Dyer. 

When you find yourself stuck and unable to get out of your current mode of thinking, go through these four steps:

    1. Listen and observe.
    2. Reach back and remember.
    3. Reorganize your priorities.
    4. Write down your worries, uncertainties, and confusions.
   
The key with the above steps is to not overthink! You want to focus on whatever you are stuck on and just let your mind go to work. Do not censor your answers to the questions. Again, let your mind go. In most cases, your first thought will be your best thought!

Give this exercise a try the next time you find yourself stuck or puzzling over an idea and let me know how it worked for you!

"I always advocate never creating monsters when there are none, Cindy." ~ TUT

How timely that this showed up in my inbox today! This is just the jolt I needed to get out of my head and away from all the imaginary monsters I was creating for my business! This email made me stop and realize that none of the "what ifs" I was thinking about had happened or were happening. LOL Geez.

Do you ever find yourself caught up in the "what if" game? What do you do to get yourself out of your head? I find talking with my coach helps. I also find reading TUT helps. Heheheeee

Seriously, as solopreneurs we run around like crazy creating self-imposed deadlines, imagining the worst, and then wonder why we’re exhausted, right? Let’s not forget we are in charge of our business and how we act or react to things.

When you find yourself battling the monsters in your business, take a few minutes and walk through this process:

    1. It is REALLY as bad as you imagine? Really?  
    2. Most monsters have a low probability of appearing (tell that to a 3 yr old!). What is the probability your "what if" will occur? Be honest. Most of the time you’ll find it’s a small probability. If it’s small, push through the monster!
    3. How much of the "what if" is a projection of your fear and not a potential reality? (This is where talking to your coach can help you to get out of your head!)
    4. How much of this is a fear of success? (What if I get overwhelmed? What if too many people want what I offer? What if I’m – oh gosh I can’t say it – successful?!)

Remember, if we ask ourselves  "what is the worst that can happen", and then we get stuck in that answer it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we ask ourselves that question and find that the probability is low, then we owe it to ourselves and our business to move through that monster!

I’d love to hear how you move through the “what if” in your business.

In the last ezine, we discussed goal setting (click here to read). Today we are going to discuss how you implement your goals. The form below is something I use with my clients. Once we’ve determined the goal(s), I have my clients complete the form you see below. Let’s cover each of the sections and how they work:

Click here to download a printable version of the Action Plan

The first thing you will need to do on the form is fill in the center circle. This circle is the goal. You will want to be as specific as possible in this section. I usually tell my clients to pull this circle out, put it on a clean sheet of paper, and write down all the specifics pertaining to the particular goal. This way you can see in detail what you want to accomplish.

Once this step has been completed, the next step is to complete each of the squares that surround the circle. These squares are the implementers. They are the means by which you make your goal real. Let’s take a look at each one.

• The right box is where you will list the resources you have available to help you attain your goal. These resources can be people, places, and/or things (i.e., books, music, Internet, coffee, tea, candles, etc.).
• The bottom box is where you will list the reasons and benefits for achieving your goal. This is your motivation. It is important to understand what motivates you and what the pay-off will be when you reach your goal.
• The left box is where you will list the successes and strengths of previous goals/things you’ve achieved. This is to remind you that you DO have what it takes to make it happen.
• The top box is where you will list the steps necessary to achieve your goal. This box is important because you can’t eat an elephant in one bite. You must make the steps bite size or you risk frustration and self-doubt.

OK, take some time and do this exercise for a goal you have. See how you feel when you have all of this written out in front of you. Are you excited? Do you see the possibilities? Hopefully, you do.

One of the biggest benefits of doing this exercise and going through the process is the act of writing it down! This is where most people fail. They fail not because they can’t do what’s necessary to achieve the goal. They fail because they don’t take the time to think through the process and write it down.

Have some fun…implement a goal today!

©2010 Cindy Hillsey

As many of you may know, my Facebook account was hacked two weeks ago. It was frustrating to say the least. Not only did I have to spend hours and hours getting it straightened out, but I was without my account for 5 days. Yikes! I had Facebook withdrawal. LOL I’m happy to say that everything now has been straightened out and I am back among the Facebook living.

Everybody talks about establishing a “voice” and being authentic when you write — whether you write an article or post on Social Media sites. I, personally, have not given a lot of thought to my “voice.” I know I have one, and I know each of you has one.

Do you need a “voice”? Is it important? Yes! Having a “voice” is very important. Why? As I mentioned above, when my account was hacked I received numerous phone calls, emails, and voicemails from people telling me my Facebook account had been hacked. How did they know it was hacked? How did they know for sure it wasn’t me? They knew because the instant messages coming up on their computers did *not* sound like me. The hacker did not have my voice. They did not use the language I use. The other tip-off (besides all the mis-spellings) for a lot of the people was there were no emoticons in the chat window. Those of you who know me and have followed me for a while know I am a big fan of emoticons. Yep, just like this one!

Here’s what I want you all to take away from my experience with hacking: Be true to your voice. Make sure you cultivate your voice. Don’t try to sound like someone else. Be confident in who you are and what you have to say. Let people get to know you. Don’t be afraid to show everyone who you are, as it just may save a friend of yours some money!

Want to comment on this article? Have a thought to share? If so, you can post it below.