Self-Confidence: How’s Yours?

Today we are going to talk about Self-Confidence. This is the final theme in the three over-arching themes we’ve been discussing. You can read about the previous two here and here. I saved this one for last because it is a biggie! How many times have you wondered if you have the confidence to do something? I know I have, and I’d be willing to bet you have as well. If you haven’t, good for you! Wondering if we can do a particular thing is normal. Where we usually run into difficulty is when we begin to imagine all of the “what-ifs” that might occur. While some contemplation of the “what-ifs” is smart, dwelling on the “what-ifs” can actually produce inactivity and indecision, which is not good.

I realize there are more books and articles on this subject than there are people to read them. What does this tell you? It’s a pretty hot topic and one that we all struggle with. We make decisions every day, so there has to be some degree of confidence in our processes and our ability to discern what feels right and what doesn’t, correct? What causes our perceived lack of self-confidence? Is it the magnitude of the decision that prompts this perceived lack of self-confidence? Is it a new endeavor that prompts this perceived lack of self-confidence? Is it that you just don’t want to make the wrong decision?

When I ask my clients, “What is holding you back?” the response I get is “I don’t know.” Upon further probing, I find the underlying problem is doubt. Doubt about themselves and doubt about other people. Listening to this doubt can undermine self-confidence. In fact, thinking about confidence is a sure way to start minimizing it! Does this mean you shouldn’t think about it? No. It just means you shouldn’t over think things. What you should do is trust your intuition. Listen to your intuition and you will find more than enough self-confidence. Trust yourself, make the choice, and follow it whole-heartedly. Don’t give up the moment it becomes hard. Your intuition is not going to steer you wrong. Just because the choice you made is not one your friend would have made does not make it wrong. If your intuition told you it was right for you, then it is right for you.

Listen to yourself and stop worrying about being confident. The confidence will come as you start to follow your intuition and do what is best for you. I know this is easier said than done, but you have to practice this! Accept the fact that in the beginning you may not make some good decisions because you didn’t fully listen to your intuition. As you begin to trust yourself (intuition) more and more, you will find your decision-making process becomes easier and more enjoyable because you are no longer fighting the process.